If you haven’t been watching American Dad’s Christmas episodes over the past few years, you are missing out on some modern classics. They’re all available on Netflix. In order:
Season 2, Episode 9: “The Best Christmas Story Never Told”
Season 3, Episode 8: “The Most Adequate Christmas Ever”
Season 6, Episode 8: “For Whom The Sleigh Bell Tolls”
Season 7, Episode 7: “Season’s Beatings”
Season 9, Episode 8: “Minstrel Krampus”
Season 11, Episode 6: “Dreaming of a White Porsche Christmas”
Then do yourself a favor and check out this as well:
Season 9, Episode 6: “Independent Movie” (a spot-on sendup of a certain film genre)
And the Stelio Kantos Duology, if only so you can get the song stuck in your head, too.
Season 5, Episode 16: “Bully for Steve”
Season 8, Episode 17: “The Full Cognitive Redaction of Avery Bullock by the Coward Stan Smith”
Is there a young person in your family who has been showing an interest in current events, politics, and activism? What with Christmas coming up, I would like to make a book recommendation: Give them a copy of Howard Zinn’s A Young People’s History of the United States: Columbus to the War on Terror. Their parents probably won’t thank you, and neither will their History teacher, but the kid might stand a chance of growing up okay.
I start so many things I write with that line. It is the opening lyric from a Monty Python song:
It serves as a sort of throat-clearing; gets the fingers moving and the brain spinning, so to speak. I’ve yet to accidently leave it in a final draft.
This article has nothing to do with King Charles I. Well, not directly.
I spent the better part of a year living in England when I was 21. It was my Junior Year of college at Juniata. Everyone was encouraged to study abroad back then. I assume they still are.
Back to KC I, or rather his nemesis, Oliver Cromwell spit. (I’ll explain the spitting shortly.)
Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of England
If you aren’t familar with Ollie C, you should be. You can look him up on Wikipedia if you’d like, or go listen to that Youtube clip I posted. Or I can tell you about him here: Short version, he decided KCI was bad for England, so he chopped off his head and ran the country as Lord Protector until his own death. The British then restored the Monarchy with King Charles II.
Cromwell was a Puritan, the same folks who got lost at sea and landed at Plymouth. Fancy things were verboten. Even buttons were ostentatious. So he and his men set about the country, removing all things decadent and offensive.
While in England, I toured at least a dozen churches, nearly as many castles, and a number of other historic sites. In every case, the tourguide or docent would tell us about the role of their particular building in the Civil War. You could tell they held Cromwell in disdain. No one ever went to go so far as to spit after saying his name, but I came to take it as read.
H.L. Mencken
The University where I was studying was in Lincoln. I remember one room in Lincoln Cathedral where the gold inlay was still intact on a particular coffin. It had been up against a wall when Cromwell’s men came through, prying the gold, jewels, and other filigree from anything in the church. I assume the enthusiasm with which his men removed these valuables had nothing to do with greed and was driven purely by their pious hearts.
That’s my Oliver Cromwell story. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!
If you haven’t been watching American Dad’s Christmas episodes over the past few years, you are missing out on some modern classics. They’re all available on Netflix. In order:
